just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
