i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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