We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
