Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
