My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
