your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
