I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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