im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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