Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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