I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
