i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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