and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
