dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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