i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
