that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
