The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
