i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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