How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
