Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
