Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
