Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
