love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
