Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
