im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
