the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
