Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
