we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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