so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
