She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
