my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
