After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
