So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
