I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Success! We fucked roommates!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
