grandma shit on top of the toilet
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
