I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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