Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
