at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
