She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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