it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
