I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
