you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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