Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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