Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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