carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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