when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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