I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
