can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
