apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
