somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
