i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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