she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
